Job Posting: Cyber Arms Dealer (500k – 750k + bonus)
Employer: Restricted Business Name (RBN)
Position Type: Part-time contractor, sales
Salary: Commission only (est. 500k – 750k), uncapped upside opportunity
Bonus: Top-sellers will be invited to the annual company picnic in a secret location
Travel Required: 0%
Target Clients: Disgruntled 3rd world dictators, other national governments
Business Hours: 24/7
Education Level: None required
Experience Level: No previous cyber security or business experience required
Target Age: 0-99 years
There is a once in a lifetime opportunity to become part of the largest, most efficient business in the world focusing on Cyber Security issues as it seeks to expand its Cyber Warfare product line. Our products have replaced the traditional wares of arms dealers (i.e. tanks, planes, nuclear weapons) and are crucial to the successful wartime activities of our clients as they plot integrated military attack strategies against the critical infrastructures of their enemies. With an extensive team of sales professionals, we are already delivering a full spectrum of cyber security-related products to a worldwide client base which you will be able to leverage.
Principal Duties and Responsibilities:
The successful candidate must be able to access the Internet, download the pre-configured software package provided by the company, and click “save and run” when prompted. Basic understanding of cyber security helpful, but not really required.
Primary activities involve monitoring incoming messages for requests for the company’s Distributed Denial of Service (DDOS) Attack 2.0 product line and establishing contact with the potential client. You will not need to understand how the DDOS Attack 2.0 product works as we have a large staff of technicians to take care of this for you. You will merely act as the middleman to handle the transaction, of which you will retain a certain percentage (to be negotiated).
Although the target market is worldwide, it is vital to the employer that the candidate is physically located in Russia, China, Indonesia, or Ukraine. This ensures minimal risk of disruption of company activity by law enforcement, and will also help the candidate ensure continued flow of low-risk income as he builds his customer base. Thanks to the global standardization of Internet protocols, you will be able to deliver the DDOS Attack 2.0 product line to your clients anywhere in the world in real-time (no shipping charges or customs duties) from these any of these four countries.
Desired Characteristics:
- Excellent prospecting, new client generation and negotiation skills
- Successful sales track record
- Understanding of money transfer options (i.e. PayPal, Western Union)
- Desire and ability to work alone, ability to operate under little supervision
- Proficiency in typing and reading messages on your computer
- Must be enthusiastic and positive
- Optimist at heart and passionate about selling the company’s products
- Should have laptop with WiFi access to avoid geolocation by law enforcement
Above all else, loyalty to the company is required. In the unlikely event that some pesky law enforcement officer should happen to apprehend you, you should understand up front that revealing any information about the company will result in long-term, painful punishment to those closest to you.
How to apply: Please access your favorite IRC channel and enter job code: 0b1010011010
















If you read the most recent list of Top 10 cyber security threats published by your favorite vendor, you will most likely see botnets, this, that, and the other. When you are done, read the same list from the same vendor released 3 years ago. Don’t be surprised if none of the same 10 appear on that list.


It seems to be quite common these days to read of national or regional activites around the development of public-private partnerships between governments looking out for the best interests of the popoulation and operators who own and manage the global critical infrastructure that provides services to that population. Since many of these infrastructures are now privatized and / or deregulated, governments have to “cooperate” with operators rather than “direct” them – hence the partnership perspective.
Imagine for a moment that you live next to a river. On the other side of the river, you can see an orchid of 1,000 apple trees, each tree holding 1,000 sweet, ripe apples. Unforunately, though, on your side of the river there are very few apple trees, and the apples on those trees are small and sour. As a result, everyone who lives on your side of the river is willing to pay $10 for the apples that grow on the other side of the river.
According to an article published in The Progressive last year (


